Feeling Unloved During Pregnancy

So it turns out that it is completely normal to feel alone during pregnancy, and in the early days as a new mother. Pregnancy is one of the most challenging times in a women’s life. However, it is important to address these feelings because if you don’t deal with them early on, they may intensify down the track.

Feeling lonely and unloved during pregnancy is completely normal. In fact, most women experience this as well as new mothers. The important thing is to deal with these feelings; if you don’t deal with them early, the feelings can intensify and do harm to your emotional wellbeing.

Pregnancies can be challenging and lonely, so it is totally normal to feel this way. However, if you don’t take the right action now, the feelings may intensify down the track.

Dealing with a lack of support from family, feeling unsupported by your partner and feeling like you’re all alone is a very normal response for many women during pregnancy. It’s not easy for everyone around us to understand what we are going through or how to best support us during this special time.

Being pregnant, especially in the first few months can feel lonely and confusing. It can be hard to enjoy the pregnancy, when you are feeling so much pressure from everyone else. Pregnancy is a major life event, which impacts your body and mind and it can be an isolating time for many women.

My Husband Makes Me Feel Alone During Pregnancy

First-time mothers are especially susceptible to feeling lonely during their pregnancy, primarily due to inaccurate, often unrealistic, representations of what pregnancy is really like and perceived expectations that it will be a time of blooming, relaxing, and nesting in complete happiness.

One of the common misconceptions about loneliness is that you have to be by yourself to feel it. For the record, you don’t. We can feel lonely at any time in our lives even if we have family and friends around us, and it can creep up on us when we least expect it and during times when you’d expect to be at your happiest, like during pregnancy and once you finally have your baby in your arms.

So if you’re feeling lonely right now, know this… you are certainly not alone. Although there’s a lot of information about a mother’s mental health after delivering her baby (baby blues and postpartum depression) there is very little discussion about mental health before the baby arrives. However, research shows that it is extremely common to feel lonely when you experience something for the first time and pregnancy and new motherhood present exactly that opportunity.

So let’s take a look at why these feelings of loneliness arise when you are supposed to be happy, glowing and buoyant, and enjoying this exciting time in your life.

Reasons why you may feel lonely in pregnancy

  • You’ve lost your tribe – You feel like you’ve lost your friends. Your previous friendship group are not pregnant or not mothers and you’ve gradually drifted apart as they are unable to relate. You don’t receive the same invitations to join social events anymore or are not interested in late evening catch-ups.
  • Drastic physical & lifestyle changes – These changes are alien to you and leave you feeling isolated. Changes in hormones can cause a significant decrease in energy, affect your sleep quality, and send you through a rollercoaster of emotions. This cocktail of pregnancy hormones makes you more sensitive to stress and anxiety. Not to mention, you are swollen and exhausted much of the time. It can be challenging to feel like your usual self when you’re so uncomfortable and can make you feel like no one understands what it’s like. You feel out of control. You’re alone at home during the days and the hours stretch out empty in front of you each day.
  • Expectations – Everyone else seems to be breezing through pregnancy while you’re suffering from nausea and countless other pregnancy-related ailments and it feels like you’re the only one not enjoying it. You thought pregnancy would be different and didn’t expect it to be this hard. Your partner is not as focused on the baby as you are so you feel isolated in your excitement. You know you are supposed to be happy and feel guilty about feeling like this.
  • You’ve lost yourself – Drastic physical and lifestyle changes can make it challenging to be your normal self. Maternity leave, moving to a new city, and not being able to keep up with your friends’ social gatherings can mean that you are no longer doing anything related to your life before pregnancy. It can feel hard to understand who you are. You used to have a busy job and career and a buzzing social life and now you’re on maternity leave you have nothing to occupy your time. Being at home all the time feels remote and strange.
  • Responsibility – You feel overwhelmed with the responsibility for the baby you are carrying or looking after and it feels like a huge burden resting on your shoulders. The nighttime feeds are taking their toll but there is you know you’re the only one that can do it.
  • Your support system – Your partner is busy with work and you’re bored on your own. Your family all think you need to rest so are trying to leave you in peace. Even those closest to you may not be able to fully understand or empathize with what you’re going through. You might feel like they don’t or can’t care enough. Your body is changing in ways no one else can understand unless they are also pregnant.

Ways to feel happier and less isolated when you feel lonely in pregnancy

There are so many reasons why women feel lonely at this time but it’s a conundrum that we mothers are never prepared for. No one tells you that you might feel this way… Although these feelings are often normal, they may be signs of prenatal depression. While postnatal depression is widely talked about, pregnancy depression isn’t and it’s much more common than you might think.

However, these are not feelings that you have to endure, and here’s what you should do if you are experiencing these feelings of overwhelming loneliness.

  • Open up to someone you trust – Loneliness can create an invisible wall between yourself and others but by talking to someone you will break down that wall. That could be a close friend, family member, or therapist. Who comes to mind first?
  • Normalize what you’re feeling – Know that these are very common feelings and completely understandable under the circumstances. You are not alone feeling like this.
  • Find ways to connect – Don’t wait for others to reach out to you. Look for small ways to make contact with people each day. Text a friend or family member, speak to people you see every day at the grocery store or in the park.
  • Go online – If you can’t connect with anyone in person then try the internet, through Facebook groups or online communities. You’ll be sure to find some women feeling exactly like you. Finding others who are going through what you are is one of the best ways to tear down that wall for good.
  • Don’t feel guilty or ashamed of feeling lonely – You are going through a huge transition physically, mentally, and environmentally and it is hard to adjust.
  • Find your new tribe – While you may have lost touch with old friends don’t be disheartened. A whole new world of friendships awaits you and you just have to be open to finding them.

So it turns out that it is completely normal to feel alone during pregnancy, and in the early days as a new mother. Pregnancy is one of the most challenging times in a women’s life. However, it is important to address these feelings because if you don’t deal with them early on, they may intensify down the track. Break down those loneliness walls and do what you can to connect, communicate and receive the support and love you need. After all, you may not yet know the new you, but we know she’s worth knowing and fighting for.

Occasionally these feelings of loneliness are a symptom of prenatal or postpartum depression and it’s important to be aware of this. If you experience any of the following alongside your feelings of loneliness, we strongly advise you to reach out to your doctor and seek advice and the support you need.

  • The feeling of overwhelming helplessness
  • Tearful
  • Anxiety
  • Poor fetal attachment
  • Withdrawing from friends and family

Feeling Alone and Unsupported During Pregnancy

Pregnant and Feeling Alone: Actionable Tips for Fighting Pregnancy Loneliness

Pregnancy comes with a lot of expectations. Some pregnant women may be surprised to find that they are feeling lonely. If you are pregnant and feeling alone, know that there are many out there experiencing the same feelings. Read on to learn how to cope with being pregnant and feeling alone.

Is it normal to be pregnant and feel alone?

It turns out it’s completely normal to feel alone during pregnancy. Pregnancy can be a time of great joy. Some pregnant women seem to be glowing, walking around in a complete state of pregnancy bliss. But pregnancy can also be a very difficult time. It can be hard on your body, making you feel physically sick more often than you ever thought possible. Sleep can also be a struggle, even becoming nearly impossible, especially in the third trimester

These physical changes, which are often accompanied by changes in your lifestyle, can feel isolating. If you don’t know other moms, that feeling can be even stronger. Even if your friends have children of their own or are pregnant or trying, you might still end up feeling lonely during pregnancy. 

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While these feelings are often normal, they may be signs of prenatal depression. While more common than you might think, depression during pregnancy isn’t something you have to endure.  

When do pregnancy blues usually begin?

Feeling alone while pregnant can begin at any point during pregnancy. Circumstances such as how you are feeling physically and emotionally play a huge role. If, for instance, you are sick in the first trimester and feeling horrible, that may trigger feelings of pregnancy loneliness. 

In general, physical health can play an important role in how you’re feeling overall. If the morning sickness never seems to end, if heartburn seems a constant companion, or if sleep feels impossibly far, you are more likely to feel down.

If you are feeling down, don’t hesitate to open up to someone you trust, whether it’s your own mom or your midwife.

Pregnancy blues are closely tied to circumstances that sometimes feel out of your control. Moms-to-be who don’t have a strong support system are more at risk of feeling down. But even those who do have a support system may feel they can’t confide their worries or feelings to their family and friends. If you are feeling down, don’t hesitate to open up to someone you trust, whether it’s your own mom or your midwife. Holding in feelings, regardless of how irrational they may seem, is carrying a weight that is not necessary to bear.  

What causes pregnancy loneliness?

There are as many reasons for feeling lonely during pregnancy as there are pregnancy experiences. 

Pregnancy loneliness is caused by a variety of things. Your body is changing in ways no one else can understand unless they are also pregnant. What’s more, even those closest to you may not be able to fully understand or empathize with what you’re going through. You might feel like they don’t or can’t care enough. If you don’t have a support system, you might feel overwhelmed about being pregnant and taking care of your pre-pregnancy responsibilities at home and at work. Our individualistic culture (in contrast with a communal one) can also contribute to making you feel isolated. You may feel like you have lost your tribe or need to find a new one.  

Ways to fight feeling lonely during pregnancy

Loneliness erects an invisible wall between yourself and others. If you find yourself pregnant and lonely, know that there are ways to fight back.

  • Normalize it. Recognize that loneliness during pregnancy is very, very common. You are not alone in your feelings.   
  • Break through the wall. Don’t wait for others to reach out to you. Start finding ways to connect. Write a text to a loved one. Consider seeing a therapist. Even talking with the people you see every day, at the grocery store or the bank, takes down a piece of the wall. Talk to your partner and trusted family members. You can also connect online, through groups on Facebook or Instagram. Finding others who are going through what you are is one of the best ways to tear down that wall for good. 

Pregnancy loneliness vs depression

There can be a fine line between feeling lonely during pregnancy and being depressed. Pay attention to how you are feeling and don’t wait to reach out.

Maybe you tried and tried for a pregnancy, and don’t understand why you’re feeling down, now that you have what you wanted.

While feelings of loneliness may come and go, depression is a persistent, gnawing feeling. It may be borne out of loneliness, but it brings new depths of discouragement. Even worse, some may feel guilty for feeling depressed. Maybe you tried and tried for a pregnancy, and don’t understand why you’re feeling down, now that you have what you wanted. These feelings of guilt can turn to silence, making the weight of depression even heavier. 

Signs of pregnancy depression

First of all, if you are feeling depressed, know that you aren’t alone. Between 14 and 23 percent of pregnant women experience prenatal depression. In fact, one in four women will experience depression at some point during their lives.

Signs of depression during pregnancy include:

  • A sense of apathy — The things that used to interest you no longer do. You may stop caring about your daily tasks, work, or even your friends.
  • Lack of appetite — You might find yourself with zero appetite and go long stretches without eating.
  • Feelings of hopelessness — While loneliness can be a sign of depression, hopelessness is deeper and much harder to make go away.
  • Strong sense of anxiety — This includes having fears about yourself, your partner, or even your baby dying. 
  • Thoughts of suicide — These should never be ignored, as they typically coincide with a deeper level of depression.

If you are feeling depressed, above all else, reach out and talk about it. That’s the first step toward showing yourself the self-love you deserve, especially during this time of your life. Prenatal depression may not end with delivery, making postpartum depression a real possibility.

Can you take antidepressants while pregnant?

When deciding whether to take antidepressants during pregnancy, you should carefully weigh all potential risks and benefits with your doctor. Consult with your healthcare provider to make a choice that gives the best chance for long-term health for you and your baby. As with any medication, be sure to monitor progress with your doctor or ob-gyn.

Is It normal to Feel Unloved During Pregnancy

Is it normal to feel unloved during pregnancy? It turns out that it is completely normal to feel alone during pregnancy, and in the early weeks as a new mom. Pregnancy is one of the most challenging times in a woman’s life. However, it is important to address these feelings because if you ignore them long enough, they will only intensify down the track. In fact, studies have shown that women who don’t get help with their issues around feeling unloved during pregnancy are more likely to experience postpartum depression later on down the road.

So it turns out that it is completely normal to feel alone during pregnancy, and in the early days as a new mother. Pregnancy is one of the most challenging times in a women’s life. However, it is important to address these feelings because if you don’t deal with them early on, they may intensify down the track.

Being pregnant and a new mom is one of the biggest challenges you will ever face. You can easily feel alone or unloved, especially in the first few days after delivery when your body is recovering from labor and birth. It’s important to address these feelings because if you don’t deal with them early on, they may grow into more serious ones down the track.

Why do I Feel Empty While Pregnant

How to Feel Less Empty While Pregnant. It’s especially dangerous to become dehydrated during pregnancy. Dehydration can trigger preterm contractions, which are more common in the second half of your pregnancy. Fluids and electrolytes help keep …

This is another reason why it’s important to stay hydrated during pregnancy and fight bloat, which can sometimes make you feel so tired you could sleep for days on end. Becoming dehydrated while pregnant can trigger preterm contractions and even spontaneous labor.

Being bloated during pregnancy is normal, but it can be uncomfortable. Your body is undergoing some pretty serious changes and one of those is the swelling of your body. This can show up in many areas of your body but especially in your face and hands. Some women may also experience back pain or other aches and pains as well.

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