Pregnant and Newly Single

You’re pregnant, and you don’t have a partner. Or maybe your partner is still in the picture, but they’re not as invested in the pregnancy or the baby to come as you are. Or maybe they’ve given up on the relationship altogether, which means you’re going to be a single mom by default. Whatever your situation may be, it’s important to know that some challenges can be faced and even overcome when it comes to how to meet them head-on.

Being pregnant and single is not easy. But you don’t have to face it alone. We’ve talked to our experts and real moms, who’ve shared their stories (and some advice) to help you through the toughest parts of being a new mom when you’re pregnant without a partner in the picture.

If you are faced with becoming a single mother and have no idea how to raise a child, this book is for you. It contains practical information that will help you cope with the challenges of single parenting and make it through these difficult times.

Pregnant Single and Depressed

Though being single and pregnant can be challenging, there are plenty of ways to find support and get through it.

IN THIS ARTICLE

Pregnancy is a momentous time, full of anticipation and a fair share of worry. If you’re going through it without a husband or partner — by circumstance or by design — your worry may feel even bigger.

But you’re never totally alone: You have family, friends, an online community. In fact, there are very likely many more people ready and willing to help than you realize. Still, the challenges probably feel steep. 10 Benefits of Exercise During PregnancyHealth Benefits of Pregnancy and Motherhood20 Strong Boy Names With Powerful Meanings18 Unisex Baby Names for a Boy or a Girl

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Attending prenatal appointments when you’re single and pregnant

You may be thinking you need to find that one someone who can be your wingman or woman, but who says this is a job for just one person? Instead, identify a circle of people who can play the role of partner during your pregnancy at different times.

Think: your mom or dad, siblings, a good friend or cousin. Any one of a rotating band of close-to-you-folks can be enlisted to accompany you to prenatal visits and childbirth classes.

And it’s not just for appointments. Rely on your circle for shoulders to lean on, hands to hold and ears to bend when you’re feeling stressed or just need some emotional support. From that group, choose a willing partner or partners to coach you through labor. There’s no rule that it has to be anyone in particular!

Setting up baby gear as a pregnant single mom

Dig in to your contacts even deeper! What you need here are people who are adept at research on things like the best cribs and latest car seat recommendations and love to shop, plus a willing pal who’s handy. (Even if you’re good with a screwdriver and a set of instructions, it always helps to have extra hands when assembling tricky furniture and other items.)

Grants and Scholarships for Single Moms

These may be work colleagues or people at your place of worship, your book club, your gym or elsewhere who would be tickled pink (or blue!) to help you find the perfect stroller, assemble your adorable new crib and pick out nursery paint colors.

And if you’ve got family or friends who live far away, don’t count them out: Chances are good they’d be thrilled to make the trip. Consider setting up a long weekend for folks to visit from out of town and pitch in when you’re setting up your nursery, assembling your supplies and getting ready for baby.

If the timing isn’t right for before your baby’s birth, don’t worry. Lots of things — the crib, for instance — don’t necessarily need to be put together right away.

Finding single mom friends

Pregnancy is always easier when you can chat with women facing the same challenges, right? If you don’t know any single moms-to-be in your circle of family and friends, expand your reach. Consider a support group, either in person or online, to connect with other women in your situation, both now and after the baby’s born.

There are many online support groups for single moms-to-be, including those at What to Expect. In our community groups, you’ll find plenty of women to chat with who understand just what you’re going through.

Speaking of which: Don’t underestimate your own strength, resilience and abilities. Give yourself plenty of credit, get yourself plenty of help and you’ll surely be able to manage the next nine months — and beyond — just fine.

Budgeting when you’re single and pregnant

Work as best you can to get your finances in order early in your pregnancy or before you’re pregnant.

A lot of parenting, you’re probably already finding, is about preparation. Look into buying some life insurance and creating a will. Make a budget and a plan for managing debt. Living within your means will lessen the stress and allow you to focus on motherhood.

In the short term, try to squirrel away enough money that will cover your pregnancy costs — health insurance copays, out-of-pocket expenses and supplies — and any expenses you expect to have while on maternity leave.

Then: Calculate what you think you might need to cover things like diapers, bottles, formula, clothes and more for your baby, so you have a clearer idea of how to adjust your budget after your little boy or girl arrives.

Keep in mind that there are plenty of things you’ll be able to borrow from other parents whose kids have outgrown their onesies and strollers and high chairs, and other necessities you might get as gifts before your baby arrives.

Once you’ve settled on budgets for before and after your baby arrives, there are a million different ways you can save money and shave off extraneous costs, big and small. Look at cable, gym memberships, phone bills and other expenses that might offer some room for cutting back.

Reduce credit card debt by paying on time and avoiding late fees. Set up your paycheck to deposit a small amount of money each pay period into a savings account for baby expenses or, if you have money left over, your baby’s college fund. (It’s never too early …)

Trying to do it all

Single parents often feel the pressure to play two roles — which only makes you feel overtaxed, overtired and overworked. This is where your posse comes in. Team up with other single moms, your family and friends, and others to build your network, even before your baby arrives. Every family is built around community, regardless of the parent count.

You’ve got a village. Don’t discount the eagerness of people around you to help you navigate this new part of your life. You might be surprised at how grateful they are to be a part of it!In the meantime, focus on being the best possible single mom (and mom-to-be) you can be. Cover the basics, tap into your community — your inner circle and beyond — and take care of you in the process. Get out of the house, recharge your batteries and try not to allow yourself to get so caught up in the particulars that you forget that you’re in the middle of this amazing moment of becoming a mom.

8 Months Pregnant and Single

Maybe you’ve chosen to go it alone, or maybe your partner is unable (or unwilling) to be there for you during these long nine months. Whatever the reason, the whole pregnancy thing can seem very difficult to face alone, but it doesn’t have to be a scary experience. Here are a few moms and experts with some great advice on how to go it alone and enjoy your pregnancy to the fullest!

1. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family.

Just because your child’s father is out of the picture for one reason or another does not mean you are alone. Emotional support can come from others who love and care for you. Good friends, close relatives, and even a friendly neighbor can all help you get through this extremely emotional time. At 45, Shelly Nentwig of Gilbert, Arizona, knew she wanted to start a family on her own. After getting pregnant with twins, she says she found support in her friends and family. “I didn’t have any judgment, just total support,” she says. And it made the experience even more enjoyable for her.

2. Join a support group.

“The first thing any woman facing a solo pregnancy should realize is that there are endless options for support,” explains Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D., LCSW, a family therapist in New York City. She recommends speaking with your OBGYN to get information on support groups in your area that can connect you with professionals who can help you through your pregnancy and after delivery as well. They may also be able to connect you with other women who have been in your shoes, too.

3. Believe in yourself.

Elizabeth Peace of Fort Meade, Maryland, hadn’t intended on becoming a single mother. But when the father of her child made it clear he would not be a part of the pregnancy or the child’s life, she decided she’d just have to do it on her own, much to her family’s dismay. Her biggest regret? Her own self-doubt. “It was years before I realized I could do anything with hard work and belief in myself,” she says.

4. Don’t be afraid to accept help.

“Sometimes women think they have to be so strong that they become unwilling to accept help of any kind,” says Dr. Smerling. When it comes to surviving a pregnancy on your own, this attitude just won’t do you any good. “You have to keep in mind that it’s essential to build a tribe,” she encourages. “It truly takes a village!”

5. Make decisions that are best for you, not for everyone else.

Peace has never regretted having her son, but does regret the time she wasted listening to the harsh judgments of others. “Block out the noise,” she explains. “Don’t make your decisions based on what they want for your life.” Ultimately, you need positive support during this time. This is your baby and your pregnancy and you get to choose how you do everything. You can also choose to distance yourself from those who are pushing you into a direction you don’t want to go in.

6. Get friends to come to doctor’s appointments with you.

Being pregnant on your own can be a very isolating experience if you live through the everyday hardships of it by yourself. Sometimes, just having a friend tag along for routine appointments can help keep those lonely feelings at bay and lead to a more enjoyable pregnancy. Nentwig always had a friend accompany her to her OB appointments. “I just reached out to my friends through Facebook and asked if anyone could come,” she explains. “And every time, I had someone who was available to go with me!”

7. Relieve stress.

Stress can make pregnancy even more difficult for both you and your unborn child. Edna Lindsey, the Healthy Parents & Babies Program Manager at Ounce of Prevention Fund in Chicago, says relieving stress is very beneficial to a pregnant woman. “Mothers-to-be who are feeling worried or frazzled should practice relaxing techniques like breathing exercises and meditation to help center themselves and calm their nerves,” Lindsey explains. Other relaxing activity ideas include reading and exercising.

What to Say to Newly Pregnant

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I know you’re going to enjoy this amazing adventure in your life. I can’t wait to meet your little one when they come out.

Messages of Congratulations for a Baby Shower Card
Congratulations to the mom-to-be! …
Congrats on your pregnancy! …
Enjoy this amazing adventure in your life. …
Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy!
We are so excited to meet your little one when they come out. …
I know you’ll love being pregnant.

Your pregnancy is a time for celebration, so let us take care of the details with Baby Shower Invitations. Whether it’s for your own baby shower or for someone else, this adorable Baby Shower card will surely make an impact. Celebrate being pregnant with your friends, family and fellow soon-to-be parents. Choose from many different designs that can be customized to suit your unique style. With new baby comings quickly, you’ll want to let the whole world know that the most exciting journey of all has begun!

What To Do If Newly Pregnant

We’re here to help with all your next steps to take when you find out you’re pregnant.

  1. Tell someone (if you want to) …
  2. Choose a healthcare professional. …
  3. Schedule your first prenatal appointment. …
  4. Start taking prenatal vitamins. …
  5. Discuss medications with your doctor. …
  6. Make a work plan. …
  7. Cut out alcohol and substance use.

Pregnancy is a time of exciting and sometimes overwhelming changes, but we’re here to help you every step of the way. We’ll walk you through choosing a healthcare professional, scheduling your first prenatal appointment, starting prenatal vitamins, and discussing medications with your doctor.

This month, we’re talking all about what to do when you find out you’re pregnant. Whether you’re having a girl or a boy, the first few weeks are packed with information and decisions so we compiled everything you need to know into one easy guide. We include everything from telling someone to canceling your plans with friends and taking up an exercise routine.

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